is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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