Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she smelled like a LAN party
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize