she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
