That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
