Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
