in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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