I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
