dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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