are you still at the devil's house?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
