is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
