Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
