I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's just like the Real World with babies
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
