Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
