if you like me you must not know who I am
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We’re leaving where are you
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