That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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