Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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