i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
did i walk over a car last night?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
