uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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