no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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