Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
