Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
