Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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