i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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