the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my poor anus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
