Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
