is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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