Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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