how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
