I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
