Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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