I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
