So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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