I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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