I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
