Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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