"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
