atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
