I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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