really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
