We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
