i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We got so high we made milksteak
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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