I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
