He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
