also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
