I must be too annoying 4 u.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
