I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we're making bets on your personal life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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