ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
