she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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