everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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