WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
