Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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