apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
