My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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