I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
