:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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