ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
