You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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