I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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