I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize