They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
