Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
