The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
