Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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