I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
