"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
