I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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