Soap is not a condiment
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
