Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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