Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
