Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
